10:18 p.m. - Monday, Apr. 05, 2004
This past weekend and more news
So, something I never mentioned, was that Saturday morning I participated in the CareNet Pregnancy Center's Walk For Life2004. There's no website link for that, because THEY HAVE NO WEBSITE. Yeah, yeah, I know... so totally UN-twentieth century.
Anyways, it really was awesome. It was a 2 mile walk, and we walked along this little dirt path that circled the entire hospital complex.
Every so often along this path, there would be a small group of people sitting in the grass that would hollar and cheer and say things like, "Yeah! You can do it! Just (insert number here) laps to go!!"
All very encouraging. But the BEST part, was that after the last lap, the ones closest to the finish line gave everyone big ole goody bags.
THAT'S what I'm talkin about, baby! Forget the feelie good stuff about how we helped better our world and supported life and all that junk. Nu uh... bring on the Goody Bag! There was all kinds of cool junk. Stickers, and a calendar, and pens and pencils and more stickers and Coupons! COUPONS! Free FOOD!
...
Until you actually read the coupon that says, "Free Jr. Frosty" at Wendy's. Hm. Jr. Frosty. It's the size of a Dixie Cup. That's smaller than the little cup that doctor's give you PEE in! Less ice cream than PEE that you have to give a doctor!! OH THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL!!
But moving on... So, Mom was suppose to walk with Becca and I, but we didn't get to meet up with Alyssa and Ms. Kimberly for breakfast before as planned. So Mom stayed with Ms. Kimberly, and Alyssa walked with Becca & I. MUCH FUN! Until we got back and saw that Mom had spent the entire time cleaning for Ms. Kimberly. Who was still laid low. From the motorcycle accident.
Yowch. Family probs there. Anyways, both ladies spent the whole morning venting about various problems each other were facing.
Moving on because I don't wanna get on that too much.
Came home, worked. Blah. SUNDAY! Church was AWESOME. Becca and I spent ALL DAY with Amber & Alyssa. Amber was down from college, and afer church we went out to eat, then saw the movie Calendar Girls which was HILARIOUS, (but the nudity was somewhat surprising... because we didn't know it was ABOUT A NUDE CALENDAR.. duh), did a little window shopping, and made ourselves late for evening church lol.
On to today.
This morning we watched as the news story unfolded about the Marine from the 7th Battalion west of Bahgdad was killed in the stand at Fallujah. Nicholas, my brother. He's in the 7th Battalion. West of Bahgdad. At Fallujah.
Nicholas has called us once every week since he left. But we haven't heard from him in two weeks.
This afternoon Rebecca walked into the office holding a brown envelope from, "7th Battalion, Commanding Officer" and my heart stopped. And I couldn't breathe. And I started to cry and I didn't want her to open it because I was terrified.
But she opened it and it was just a newsletter. I got the hell scared out of me over a newsletter. (bless me) Damn those official looking envelopes!
There's alot more stress and drama and unhappiness going on than I've let on. Since Saturday some things have occured that have given me a small glimpse into what it's like to be my mother, and it is no small thing.
Tonight I'm going to go home and cry myself to sleep, after hours of lying there wishing upon every star I see, that my life were different. And then I'm going to have nightmares about the only father figure I've ever known leaving us because we're not good enough, and he doesn't believe we respect him.
On top of nightmares of my brother being mutilated by some heathen punk who believes he's just earned himself a throne in heaven and endless beautiful virgins.
Good night, and sweet dreams.
~Bye~
